Monday, November 30, 2009

Zuhair blog number 8 !!!

8.21 PM Back from the bathroom at Italian rest stop:

"So check this out, I think they just opened, and I might have been the first one to take a shit in there. That was the cleanest toilet I have shat in on this whole trip. I just wanted to sit in there and enjoy it"

1PM Lyon
"Everytime I say something around you guys, I immediately regret it"

1.24PM Driving through Lyon
"I don't really know anything about geography"

Paris France:
" you know how I know I'm gonna be able to shit? When we were out there talking to those girls I tried to drop a fart, and a shit almost came out"

11PM Paris
The Hair is asked for an autograph by french fan who looks at him in amazement and says "I was wondering...Is this Hair real?"
The Hair signs his name "SHIT!"


11.53 Paris
Looking for food - really hundgry!
" I'll eat a pizza, I dont fucking care. I already took a shit"

1.30am at "Magic" in Paris:
Disappointed by "the show" The Hair says:
" I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I might as well. I can give myself a show. I will lean over and watch it come out of my butt. I gotta get my 20 euros worth!

2am: The Hair gets a well fitting slogan:
" DRINK FAST - SHiT SLOW"

After 2am : LOTS OF AMAZING QUOTES ->>> CENSORED BY The HAIR!!!
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Monday, November 23, 2009

Partying in Glasgow

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Zuhair Blog 6

Monday 2.38PM
Walking into a music store, The Hair knows he needs something from there, but does not remember what it is...He finally settles on an ukulele. About 2 hours later he yells " Fuck, I didnt need a ukulele, I needed earplugs!"

2.53PM Driving through Berlin:
Starring at the car in front of us in amazement, Zuhair goes " That dudes tow hitch looks like a giant dildo"

3.02PM - Berlin:
"I never get piss boners...Maybe I should talk to my doctor"

3.30PM
GLISS does a live interview on MOTOR FM in Berlin, and the DJ brings upThe Hairs bathroom habbits, and translates it to german for the listeners!
Afterwards The Hair says proudly " I never thought my shits would get me laid, but now Im kinda famous in Berlin"

3.52PM Berlin
" I haven't even taken a shit today and I have only farted once"

3.58PM Berlin
"So far all the shitters in Germany have been fantastic"

8PM Berlin - at the venue
" I still haven't shat today...Its pissing me off"

9PM To David and Martin:
" Both of you make me wanna vomit on a regular basis"
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Zuhair BLOG 5

11.56 pm Driving somewere in Germany, with no time to stop, Marty goes " I had to piss in your juice bottle"..The Hair just awoke from a nap on the back seat of the van and says "oh"...

1.19PM Germany
Upon realizing we are cutting it real close on the time frame, The Hair says:
"I'm a little worried that at some point I'm gonna have to take a dump"

1.25PM Still driving through Germany
"The only reason I go tup early this morning was so I could go take a shit"

11.30PM Dinner with the promoters in Germany:
After calling Victoria an angel, he continues: " ou can write that in your blog, so I dont look like a complete dip shit", followed by " Oh man, Im gonna have to fucking stop getting drunk around you guys"

1am The Reeperbahn - Hamburg
The Hair says with a serious look in his eyes:
" If we are going to a titty bar, Im gonna need my gloves"

2am The reeperbahn - Hamburg
CENSORSHIP HAS KICKED IN - SORRY FOLKS!
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Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Hair Bear PART 4

2.12pm Driving to Turin:
The Hair recapturing his dislike of italian toilets "My biggest concern if I shit in those holes is, Im gonna shit straight into my pants"

3.52pm
The Hair gets angry because someone is skatting on the radio " I hate when they do that, cos they are really just admitting to not being able to play the trumpet"

7.30PM At restaurant in Turin
Starring confused at the italian menu
"I have got a whole slew of questions"

7.45Pm Still at restaurant
"No more bruschetta for me"

8.30PM At restaurant
The Hair declines Faris' offer of drinking 2 cups of oil for 350 euros!!

4.28am Driving to Switzerland
The Hair breaks 2 hours of complete silence
" Do you really think Faris would have given me 350 euros to drink that oil?"

.............To be continued..........
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The Hair bear in Europe PART 3

Thursday Florence, Italy:
5am : " Are we at a fucking coke party?"

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Friday, Ravenna, Italy:
7.30PM at venue: Discovering the dressing room has a toilet with toilet seat:
"Oh man, this is superb...I'm just gonna go look at it"



12am at Venue: To Victoria and David :" You guys are fucking assholes"

4am at hotel: " I gotta look at my toe"

4.15am at hotel: "Takes off shirt and says " look at how fucking buff I am . I am in Italy, please don't put cheese on my fucking pizza"

4.16 at hotel: Goes down to the reception area half naked to get internet code.

4.20am at hotel: I am just gonna say this real quick "Im gonna pass out real soon"

4.30am at hotel: Basically yells at Victoria: " There's a lack of fucking toilet seats in this god damn country. You can put that down, it's a fucking quote"

4.31am at hotel: The Hair talking to himself in the bathroom
"The fuck what? Soap what? You don't wash your hands before you brush your teeth"

4.45 am at hotel: After reading today's Hair blog:
" These things come out of my fucking mouth, how is that even possible?"

4.46am : The Hair turns on the tv and says : " I got the skag channel, it's in Italian"

4.47am at hotel: Changes channel and is watching Chuck barry play a Gibson 330, he then says knowingly:
"I may not know much about guitars, but that to me looks like a fucking SG"

5am: Rummages through the closet and says:
"hey , you guys dont mind if I jee jee jee jee jee"....

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Edingburgh Tourist Tour

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Hair Bear in Europe - Part Two!

10.35am Florence:
The Hair purchases an apple from the italian farmers market. As he sinks his happy teeth into the apple he realizes to his dismay it is soft.

10.53am Driving between Florence and Rome:
The Hair wonders aloud: " I only shat once yesterday - 1 time"

12.02pm - At a rest stop on our way to Rome
Upon realizing not all italian bathrooms have toilet seats, The Hair retracts his previous statement of "I can shit anywhere".

2.25pm Rome
The Hair crosses 2 lanes in massive italian traffic - and that is mental! - to get to the right exit. He then sighs " Fuck, I just came"

8.25pm -Having dinner with the promoters in Rome:
The Hair's back gets hit with 2 freshly baked pizzas, by the waiter, -whilst wearing cardigan-, and it results in all the tomatoes falling off his bruschetta. He puts down his plate in anger.

2am - in front of the hotel in Rome:
The Hair is watching David changing his pants in the van , and screams in horror ; " OH MY GOD - I JUST SAW A TESTICLE" !!
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Hair Bear in Europe - The beginning!

As some of you know by now, our good friend The Hair or The Hair Bear, has flown out to help us on the road. He is an interesting young man, and we have decided to create a blog documenting his whereabouts. This blog will be updated frequently throughout our European tour. Do not miss it!

Monday 1am, Zurich:
The Hair's cardigan gets nicknamed "tittygan". He is upset.

Monday 1.30am,Zurich:
The Hair gets knighted by a drunk girl, who cannot say "Z-hair", and therefor calls him "Sir-hair".

Tuesday 11.10am, The Alpes:
The Hair jumps out of van when he discovers a beetle on his leg. He jumps back and forth,to and fro, to get rid of the beetle - he does not want to touch it! This will henceforth be known as "The Beetle-dance"

Tuesday 11.25am, The Alpes:
The Hair is having iPhone problems.It seems to not want to turn on.

Tuesday 11.26,The Alpes:
The Hair is enjoying a Schweppes, whilst driving. The iPhone is finally working and he looks pleased, smiling as he drives through The Alpes.

Tuesday 3.10PM, Italy:
The Hair is enjoying a ham sandwich. He gets upset and scared when he thinks there is cheese in the sandwich. To his delight he discovers it is in fact an egg.

Tuesday 7.04PM, Florence:
The Hair observes that Italian women age in 2 ways: 1. Gracefully or 2. Looking like the mom from Sopranos

Tuesday 11.45PM, In front of Enoteca Bar in Florence:
The Hair exclaims: "I look like half a trans-sexual". He then goes home to our apartment.
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Only a few more UK dates

It is wednesday night ( I think), we just played in Guildford. It was nice, a lot of people from the show in London last night, came out. So thank you for making it a fun night. We were pretty tired when we showed up, cos we only slept 3 hours or so. The bar last night didnt close til 4am, and we had to get up at 8am. We went to the Gibson show room today, it was really nice! Then went to Tiger Tours and got a new van. But first we got a parking ticket.
Tonight we are staying with a new friend out in the country, actually in a cemetery. It could freak some people out I suppose, but it is actually very cozy and warm! And there is a bed here. I am very relaxed. The guys are already sleeping. I am uploading a bit more video from last week, cos people keep emailing me about more video from the road. It's just been so insanely busy, I haven't had much time to go through it all yet. I have so much video...But here is a bit from last week...Wow...last week.It seems like 2 months ago....





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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Loving Glasgow!!!


We are on our way to Barnsley. We have never been before. We just spent 4 days in Scotland, and I am ready to move there. It was so amazing. First stop was Edinburgh, but I think I already wrote a blog about that...Just in case I didn't, here's the short version of it: Played a show and went on a 3 hour walking tour and learned everything about the old buildings, the witch hunts and the ghosts. Then we went to Glasgow. I knew that was gonna be insanely rad, just because we have friends up there. Sure enough, they came out to the show and brought another band with them from Denmark called Mew. So there we were ...Three bands out partying in Glasgow. Gliss, Glasvegas and Mew. That was fun!
I don't even know how many bars we went to, but it got more and more fun and weird. Finally at some point in the morning, we ended up at some small bar, that was supposed to be closed, but they let us in, and there were about 20 people down there in the basement partying. As we are standing at the bar, a cute female midget ( she looked like a very small Britney Spears) walks up to us, looks at David and yells:
"OY! Where are you from?", and as she yells that, she jumps into the air and slaps him really hard right in the face!!! One of our friends just looked at David and said "Welcome to Glasgow".
It's probably the best thing I have experienced EVER! David looked really confused, it was really funny... Then she grabbed Martin and dragged him out on the dance floor...I can't even describe how funny that was. She was half the size of Martin, and as they are dancing she starts rubbing her ass up against him. David and I were laughing so hard, we were crying.
Next day we slept all day and did laundry, then went out again at night.
So it's been fun. Although Martin and David are constantly rude to me. They love it. Like yesterday..This is what happened, when I was about to tell a funny story:
Martin goes: "I dont wanna hear your stories anymore, they are giving me a headache, you are so over the top"
And did I mention we only had 2 small beds in the room? Guess who slept on the floor for 2 days! ME!
As we are about to go out David says:" Boys night out, bring the ladies home. Victoria you need to find a place to stay tonight or sleep in the van!"
I am gonna keep writing down all the rude things they say to me, hehe... I am never rude to them, I am basically a saint!
My body is hurting, especially my heart. It must be all those energy drinks..Or something..Maybe I will take it easy tonight after the show. Oh, just realized we don't have a place to sleep tonight. Great...
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Edinburgh Day 1

We have been in Edinburgh for a couple of days. It's a great city, very old and very haunted. I haven't seen anything spooky, except David in the morning, but we took a guided tour of the city today ( yeah dorks ) and they told us about the witch burnings and all the haunted scary places. I will put together a video of the tourist stuff later.
It's insanely cold ! My plan tomorrow, when we get to Glasgow, is finding a pair of gloves. Being European you'd think I would be well prepared for this weather... But I'm not. I am always the one without a jacket, in a t-shirt, begging the guys to borrow some of their warm clothes. They both have 2 jackets on this trip!!!
After walking around Edinburgh all day, I went straight to bed and passed out. Unfortunately that means I am now very awake and everybody else is asleep.
Here's a video from our first night here: video

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Manchester tonight

It is monday morning and we are on our way to Manchester. I had phone problems and missed 2 phone interviews, that sucked. But I did a bit of rescheduling. Hit up a gas station and got a "top-up" as they call it over here, for my UK phone.
We are driving a huge splitter van, I am in the back, freezing!! As some of you know already, I forgot my jacket in Los Angeles. Right now I borrowed Martin and David's jackets, one wrapped around my legs. The promoter from Manchester just called to warn us about the cold weather. Apparently it's only gonna get worse, cos we are heading north to Scotland tomorrow. Then Glasgow on wednesday, which I am looking very much forward to.
We are listening to the David Lynch song, " Dark night of the soul", produced by Sparklehorse and Dangermouse. It is SICK! ( yeah, I use that word as a compliment)
There's a bunch of hills and cows and sheep right outside the windows. Trippy...
I'm tired and cold....I need a pair of wool socks and a nice hug, please !
x x

Victoria
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